


i can't hate the player or the game; they both stole my heart

by moonemoji



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: F/F, also this is based off of some boruto episodes lol..., chaeyoung is only mentioned, there's slight lisoo and chaelisa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 08:30:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15166727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonemoji/pseuds/moonemoji
Summary: all jisoo wanted was to play a board game, not have her heart beating in her ears and her palms sweating before the first piece was even moved.





	i can't hate the player or the game; they both stole my heart

_ what does this piece do?  _ lisa’s voice rang in jisoo’s ears and she twitched both from annoyance and the fact that it sounded so loud and close even while she was sitting alone. just to make sure that her roommate didn’t follow her to the park, her eyes scanned her surroundings. it was only when she was greeted with familiar elderly couples and the occasional overly fit young adults that the breath she was holding finally escaped.

lisa had asked one too many questions and she had to get out of the house before losing her mind. she wasn’t the kind of person to lose her mind over a board game, but this one was different. this one she couldn’t beat.

jisoo loved puzzles; she loved completing them, loved the sense of accomplishment in being able to pull through with something made to frustrate her into giving up. she watched every trivia show on television just to get the answer before any contestant, and had covered almost all the walls in her bedroom with taped up jigsaw puzzles. she’s even mastered every board game she’s been challenged with so that she won more than she could ever lose. 

well— _ almost  _ every board game. 

when she visited her mother a month ago, she was presented with a board game that looked like chess, and had similar pieces to chess, but wasn’t chess. “it’s from when i was a kid,” her mother told her, and wore a smile more smug than when jisoo completed a 2000 piece puzzle on her own within 24 hours (she didn’t sleep and almost went delirious because of it). 

no matter how many times jisoo read the rules, no matter how many strategies she mastered, her mother would always beat her. jisoo spent her weekends at her mother’s house just so they could go against one another and no matter how many times they played, she lost. her mother tried to help her with learning which moves to make when, but jisoo refused any sort of help. most of her pride came from the fact that she never sought for another person’s tips and tricks, that she found the shortcuts on her own. 

although after what seemed to be her 500th loss in a row in one day alone, jisoo did the unthinkable, what she never did before. she looked up the game on the internet in hopes of finding a set of moves her mom would never expect to come from her. the guilt in what felt like cheating filled her before the results even loaded, yet still she didn’t turn back from the decision. 

but it was all in vain, the internet didn’t know anything about the game. it was called ‘squared up’ and instead of giving her board game tips the search results tried to get her to sign up for 3 different banks. 

in her frustration she was now determined to find any form of text talking about the game, and for an entire week she was left with nothing but confused faces and more bank offers. 

“maybe your mom made the game up,” lisa offered, and jisoo didn’t admit it to her but she contemplated the idea for longer than she wanted to. she even asked her mother if she had invented the game herself after another day of no results and was met with laughter and more taunting that she’d been dreading the following weekend. 

finally, after what felt like years but was really only another day or two, she had chanced upon a book explaining the game in a thrift store. it outlined a number of strategies she hadn’t heard said by her mother (she always muttered the names of the moves she did every time she did them and annoyed jisoo in the process) and had been reading it since. 

and so there she was now in the park, the book in one hand and her other on what was equivalent to a chess piece’s pawn, moving it the way the book told her to. the theory of the strategy made sense as she read it in the book, but upon putting it to action a million questions ran through her mind.  _ how was it possible to execute this move if this thing occurred instead? how many backup plans should she have? is there a way to predict your opponent’s movements?  _

“hello?” a voice cut through the endless questions running through her mind, and she looked up with a scowl already twisted into her expression, ready to see lisa’s face. except it wasn’t lisa, and her heart started beating so fast she didn’t know if she’d run out of air before she got to say a word back. “uh…” the girl started, looking around her briefly as if to gain a better understanding of why she got no response, “you dropped this earlier.” she said as she reached out with her hand, deciding that the girl playing a board game in the park might not know how to speak at all. 

at the dip of her palm lay one of the pawn-equivalents that jisoo had noticed was missing when she sat down, but soon forgot after getting caught up in what the book had to say. a faint memory of her tripping in front of the cafe she had went to for lunch and spilling the contents of the box the game came in before heading to the park played in her mind, but soon she pushed it away and laughed as if to say that neither of them had to talk about the embarrassing fall. 

“ah…no wonder the strategies weren’t working,” she said quietly to herself as she reached for the piece, mentally scolding herself for letting such a simple mistake slip past.

“hm?” the girl said, leaning forward so as to hear jisoo clearer. her lips stretched into a close-mouthed smile. the friendliness radiating from her eyes alone, of which seemed to be fixated on jisoo, seemed to surround jisoo with a level of lightheartedness that wasn’t present before. 

the sudden action had caused jisoo to bump her hand in panic, causing the piece falling to the ground with a soft curse from jisoo. she was about to scramble to the ground and pick it up herself, but the stranger had already squatted down in search for it. 

jisoo took the moment to take a breath, or two, or five, in attempts to slow down her heart. she placed her hand over the quickly beating organ and the beating became louder as she felt it against her palm. she didn’t know why it was acting this way, but it quickened when she locked eyes with the stranger and the light in her head switched on. 

“fuck,” jisoo said out loud, almost too loud and with no explanation to go with it. despite the lack of context the other girl smiled, seemingly brightening even more because of it. 

jisoo was familiar with the quickening of her heart; it often did so whenever she locked eyes with anybody. she fell in love within seconds, with strangers that passed by in a hurry because of the passion for whatever it was they were running to; with girls doing makeup on the subway for the comfort and lack of self-consciousness she wished to have; with boys that handed her her coffee with a smile or told her that her dress was pretty. her heart easily wavered, but was hard to capture fully. all that she loved were her mom and her games, and with 2000 pieced jigsaw puzzles taking up all the room, there wasn’t much space for anything else. 

“squared up, right?” the stranger said, and jisoo could practically hear the puzzle pieces in her heart shifting to make space in the shape of her smile.

jisoo nodded and it felt like her throat closed up to prevent her from talking and her muscles froze to prevent her from doing anything remotely close to smiling. still, the girl didn’t leave despite how still the air sat as jisoo refused to even breathe it.

“can i play?” she asked, revealing the nature of her visit. jisoo wondered if she was followed to the park, but waved the idea away before nodding again, putting her book away so they could set up the pieces properly. 

it took two wins before jisoo finally spoke, the frustration in her voice palpable, as was the effort it took for her to (terribly) mask it. “you’re really good…do you play a lot?” 

the girl nodded in answer, maybe to get back at jisoo for all the times she only nodded and didn’t say anything else. though the smile that accompanied the nod said more than jisoo could ever say in a lifetime, maybe two. she felt herself growing brighter inside from watching her alone, only dimming when she watched the stranger that wasn’t really a stranger anymore get up from the bench they had been set on. 

“the sun is setting, i should go. maybe we can play tomorrow.” she said as she looked at the moon that had risen before jisoo even knew it. she looked at it as if it was her home, as if it held half of her heart and she knew it would always be there, waiting for her to come back and bring the half that remained inside her. 

jisoo didn’t know what to say, didn’t even think to ask for her name. before she could even open her mouth again, the girl was gone, and with her jisoo’s ability to think about anything other than the girl with the pretty smile that was really good at squared up. 

— 

jisoo spent the following day in the park with no plans of leaving. lisa greeted her last night with question after question of why she had stayed out so late, and didn’t want to face another morning of interrogating. 

she was in the park to get away from lisa, not to be there just in case the girl came back earlier than she did yesterday. that wasn’t it. 

though, admittedly, the day seemed to go by slower and slower without her. it felt like the time they met to the time it got too dark to see the pieces went by in minutes even though it took at least an hour to complete a game of squared up. now seconds passed as if they were minutes and minutes into hours and this one simple game with an elderly who walked by didn’t seem like it’d ever end.

she didn’t know how many games she played before she was left alone in her own company after everyone had gone home, but she had won all of them. the book turned out to be more help than she thought it would be, and almost abandoned her thoughts for the thrill of winning the game. 

_ almost.  _ the thoughts of the pretty girl with long hair and big cheeks that only got bigger the wider her smile got never left. the sound of her voice, of her laugh, of the way she giggled to herself every time she made a move that stumped jisoo never left; not even drowned in the sound of the traffic of people rushing to get home after a long day. 

“you’re here,” a familiar voice said, and jisoo didn’t look up as she was convinced it was just another hallucination. when the girl sat down in front of jisoo, she smiled like she wasn’t just ignored and continued talking. “i thought i would have missed you.” 

jisoo shook her head, cursing at herself for forgetting how to speak yet again despite all the words she wanted to say to her. the tips of her ears burned and she thanked the sky for giving shade to her cheeks as she didn’t know how red would have looked otherwise. 

“i think the light will run out before we can finish a game,” jisoo admitted, already finding it hard to distinguish one piece from another. she didn’t want them to part, and she hoped that the girl would suggest that they didn’t have to play a game to be with each other, but she didn’t. she stood up at the same time jisoo’s heart fell to her stomach, causing it to twist unpleasantly. now she was sure she couldn’t talk — the knot in her throat felt so real that she prodded her throat from the outside, expecting to feel the lump of a dam preventing her words from getting out. 

“i’ll come earlier tomorrow,” she said, her voice light as if she didn’t have any worry in the world, as if nothing could go wrong. 

— 

“jisoo, why are you always gone these days?” lisa asked, her brows furrowed together at the door and her arms crossed over her chest. she was like a child, a little girl that didn’t want her mother to go to work so they could play together. 

jisoo didn’t know how to say anything that wasn’t as weird as  _ ‘i’m waiting for this girl to show up at the park all day so we can play a game together. you wanna know who she is? oh, i can’t tell you because i don’t know who she is either!’  _ so she said the truth. well, some of it. 

“i’m just practicing my game, lisa. don’t you always have chaeyoung over? why do you need me?” she asked, unconsciously defensive over her alone time that she didn’t want to be alone time, just “away from anyone that wasn’t the pretty girl at the park” time. 

lisa looked away from jisoo then, a pout forming and her demeanor becoming more childish than it was before. “chaeyoung and i…we’re fighting right now. she’s not coming over today.” 

_ ah, this is why she’s so interested, _ jisoo concluded, sighing at the sudden look of sadness that overtook lisa’s eyes. as much as jisoo couldn’t stand the sound of her voice asking her questions all day, she liked lisa, maybe even loved her. maybe. 

an hour later the pair were in the park, facing each other the way jisoo had faced the girl from the previous two nights. lisa didn’t understand the game well, so jisoo explained as if she was teaching her niece, her future daughter. lisa caught on easier than she expected, and it was more fun than she thought it could be. 

by the end she was grateful that lisa had come. she didn’t know if she could take another day of playing with elders that took a full moon cycle to decide where to move, and before she knew it the sky started to grow orange in the sunset. 

jisoo felt both relief and anxiety in the situation, unable to keep herself from looking around in hopes of finding a familiar smile. 

“jisoo, let’s go home…” lisa said, the exhaustion clear in her voice, and even clearer in the subconscious furrowing of her brows, knit together with all the whining that jisoo could already hear. “you’re going to your mom’s tomorrow, right? we should go early, anyway,” lisa reasoned, and the reminder of the weekend had come unwelcomed. after contemplating cancelling on her mother or not, jisoo finally gave in and let them go home, though not without several looks back to see if she was leaving anything, or anyone, behind. 

there was a glint in the middle of the park, like a sparkle that lasted only a second but it caused jisoo’s heart to twinge, the familiar giggle already echoing through her. 

— 

over the weekend jisoo counted the amount of times her mother told her she was acting different and got to 15 before saturday even ended when she decided to stop keeping count. it was almost too big of a relief coming home to lisa who hardly paid attention half as much as her mother did.

she didn’t think she was acting different, though she was more anxious to let the weekend finally end so she could go back to her park and to the warm and familiar presence that she’d been deprived of for so long. 

_ jisoo, how can you change so much over one person? how can you let yourself act like this over one girl?  _

questions like this have been popping up since the day after they met, but jisoo brushed them away faster than she did her mom’s advice. she couldn’t help how she felt, how every thought she had was tied around the girl in the park. maybe it was too much from the beginning, but the girl was so mysterious that it was hardly out of nature. especially  _ her  _ nature. she was curious, she liked figuring things out. this, the girl, her name, she’d figure it out. even if it took 2000 puzzle pieces at a time, she’d complete the picture. 

so she went to the park again more excited than she was nervous, with her spirits high and her patience (because she knew she’d need some today as the elderly were her only companion) even higher. 

both spirit and patience started to sink with the hours ticking past, but every win that jisoo achieved tide her over until the next one, up until she was the only one in the park.

“why do you come so late?” jisoo mumbled to herself, wanting to ask the girl herself but not knowing if she could even form words upon seeing her this time. if there was a this time—would she come today?

“because it’s prettier to play with the moon,” said a soft voice that had no worries in the world, answering two questions at once with such simple words. the girl set down the bag she was carrying on her shoulder and took a seat in front of jisoo, smiling brighter than the moon itself. 

jisoo didn’t say anything and just smiled back, the thumping of her heart even faster than when they first met. was it possible to become this fond of someone so quickly? 

“so where have you been?” the girl asked after they went back and forth several times, her eyes now on jisoo as she had already made her move. jisoo didn’t notice she was being stared at and instead focused on which piece to move where. she didn’t feel the eyes tracing the dip of her nose or the curve of her bottom lip, didn’t feel the gaze that looked at her as she looked at the board, in more admiration than she had for any board game she could master. 

“i was with my mom,” jisoo said, a pride in her voice now, “i finally beat her at this game. thanks to you, probably.” she looked up at the girl as if to make her thanks more genuine, and almost knocked the board over when she was met with already staring eyes. she didn’t know where to look, and so looked at the moon which seemed to scream  _ do something!  _ and then back to the checkered board filled with pieces she could barely see. 

“it’s getting dark,” the girl said, as if reading jisoo’s mind. jisoo felt a twist in her stomach, the usual reluctance during their goodbyes. 

she waited for the girl to stand up and leave first as she always did, but she didn’t stand up. instead, she took a digital lantern out of her bag and set it next to them. 

she could see the board clearly, and the girl even more so. she glowed in the soft light, like a star that had come from space left to wander the earth and make people like jisoo fall in love.

jisoo couldn’t take her eyes off of the girl, and if she had noticed (and she would have, it was hard not to notice), she didn’t make it obvious. instead she focused on the pieces, a faint smile resting on her lips as if her happiness was perpetual, and spoke with a softness that matched the yellow glow of the lantern, “my name is jennie, by the way.”

_ jennie. jennie. jennie.  _ like a song that jisoo had been trying to find the name of after knowing only the lyrics for so long, like a constellation that she could finally point out after being crowded by so many other stars. 

“checkmate,” jennie said with her final move, her eyes moving back to jisoo with a giggle that was so familiar to the plants that surrounded them and missed by the girl who had just lost her third game in a row. 


End file.
